Love Letter in Green
He really wants me. That’s all I can say.
Back when I first considered taking a season of consecration through an internship at the International House of Prayer, I decided that I would pay my own way. I wanted to mark this season as my own. It wasn’t something that my parents pushed me into. It was not something that I wanted to treat like a gift: keep it just until it gets boring or the giver has forgotten about it. I wanted it to be mine. I wanted to demonstrate to my own soul that knowing God was its purpose, its destiny, and thereby worth every penny I had, every working hour I spent, every “No I can’t go to the movies tonight”.
According to my last two summers working at Buckhead Uniforms, I would be able to earn the $1950 I needed to cover the cost of housing, tuition, and materials. I assumed I could drudge up a little more for gas, food, and spending as needed. I didn’t worry about my finances at all, and I let my heart be freely moved by the Lord throughout the summer to give away a lot of my money. I didn’t keep track; I loved giving! I got so excited about it that I started carrying my checkbook (which I use for little else) with me so that I could write my tithe check while I was in the car depositing my paycheck, haha.
Then, earlier this week I had a spurt of productivity–which pretty much boiled down to organizing everything the best way I knew how. And I totaled up everything I had in my savings accounts and checking accounts. All I was worth was $1719.81. And I had only two weeks of work ahead of me…then I got sick. So, now, I couldn’t work and I was short for the internship.
So this morning, for the first time, I casually mentioned before the Lord that I might need some money. I hadn’t given up figuring out how to get it myself, but I decided that I might as well let Him know what was going on.
*retrospective chuckle*
I wandered up the driveway to get the mail because I was expecting a NetFlix arrival. But what I got was $250 and a short note telling me that I was ‘marked and He delights in me and I make Him happy.’
He really wants me. Cool, isn’t it?
